Thanksgiving Joke

Okay, tomorrow's Thanksgiving so, here's a semi-thanksgiving joke.


There was a man who had a beautiful macaw. The problem was it had the foulest of all sailor mouths. It was always cursing, and when it wasn't cursing, it was cussing, and when it wasn't cursing or cussing, it was sleeping. This embarassed the man greatly. Anyway, one day the man's mother-in-law came over for dinner and the floodgates opened up. The parrot couldn't say anything nice at ALL! Finally when the man's mother-in-law left, he man had had enough! He grabbed the parrot and threw him in the freezer. The parrot started cursing and cussing! Flapping and scratching! The he calmed down very suddenly. The man became nervous. He went and opened the freezer and very calmly the parrot walked out on his arm and said. "I apologize for my past behavior. It was unnecessary and uncalled for. However, I have one question: What did the turkey do wrong?"

My Dream dog!

Okay, today upon my grandmother's advice in finding what kind of pet is best for me I took a pet compatibility test. It said the three best pets for me were dogs, ferrets, and pot-bellied pigs (I like pigs!) o I took a dog compatibility test and it matched me up with poodle's and schnauzers and all those little yippy dogs. No Way as in Jose! I found a different one that listed all the bigger size dogs like labs and sheperds (My kinda dogs!) Then I saw a name that I have heard, but never seen: A Bernese Mountain Dog. Okay, It had all the qualities I wanted in a dog: Good with people, friendly, trainable, affectionate, playful... But I still hadn't seen it. So, posted below is the picture that plummeted me into literal "puppy love":


NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It won't let me post the picture of my puppy!! Oh, well, GO LOOK IT UP!!!! Now comes the hard part, convincing the parents to get me one!

Roger Rabbit: Postponed

I am post poning Rogewr Rabbit by quite a bit, so I can save up some $$$$ that is MUCH needed, but I am hoping to do a Christmas play next Christmas. (Obviously not this year) I want to do The Year Without a Santa Clause, since it is my absolute favorite Christmas special. I'm also hoping that in postponeing Roger Rabbit I will find some more actors. Just pray that my Roger doesn't decide to go through a growth spurt and have his voice drop... JACOB!!!!!! Anyway, I will keep posting updates...

My Day at Universal Studios... (A little late)

Okay, the Friday before last I went to Universal studios for my Day on the job project. I went and watched a Cadillac commercial be shot. Now, when I grow up I want to be a director, but on this particular day the director, Joe Carnahan seemed a little busy, so I shadowed the producer Mark Walejko.
I arrived at the gate around 10:00 and hearing that I was on the list had to be the coolest thing ever! We went in and drove to Soundstage 42 (By the way, after this amazing experience, I dubbed 42 one of my lucky numbers. So now instead of 02-10-94 they're 42-10-94) After watching shooting for a while, I got my own personal tour of the Universal Backlot and heard several times how I must be famous or have some significant importance because I was on the backlot without the tram! (I got used to it :]) My picture was also taken several times. (I'm glad I was a part of a few families' exciting day at Universal Studios! When I got back shooting was still going, so I watched for a few more minutes. Then we went out to lunch just as the tram went by and I heard more of my fame (Oh, yea! ;]) For luch I had Seared Ahi Tuna, Grilled Asparagus, and Coconut rice. For dessert I had pumpkin that was to DIE for! Finally as three thirty rolled around it felt like roots were coming out of me and planting themselves into the backlot. Then my mom and grandpa showed up. I can't explain the loss I felt. Not that
I saw my loving family, but that my newly planted roots were going to be ripped from the star studded soil. Well, it was time to leave (But not without an apple and iced mocha) As we got on the freeway I told myself, "Don't worry, Jacob. You'll get the chance to let those roots burrow as far down as they can go."

Time

Time is almost like a type of currency. We may have a lot, or we may have a little. And, either way, we need to spend it wisely. Time however, while it may be spent, cannot be borrowed or loaned, making it all the more valuable. And while it cannot be borrowed or loaned, it can be given as a gift. Time is a gift given to us by God. Every second, he gives us more time to be on earth. He gives it to us so we may accept Him as our savior. And after we have accepted Him, time is given so we may share the gift of eternal life with others. But, eventually, that time will run out. Time cannot be bought or bartered. You cannot go to God after your time on earth has passed and say "Lord, I see now that you are real, just buy me some more time on Earth, so that when I come back here I will be accepted into your warm embrace." He will turn his face and say "Flee from me, I never knew you." Time also needs to be spent with family, even if you are not on the best of terms. There is a line in a TobyMac song that states: "You never know what ya got till its gone" He couldn't be any more right. And if you have a family member that loves you, but not the Lord, why not tell them about the Lord? If they truly love you they will listen to you. What I'm getting at is that time needs to be used so wisely! If you spend your time with nothing but the television, or work, or the cell phone and you lose someone dear to you will you not say"Why did I not not drive down the street to talk with them for an hour rather than sit in front of a flashing box that eats away at my brain cells?" If you don't say that when you lose someone, why not? It is something we are all guilty of! If you spend your time fighting with someone who deep down, you love very dearly and you lose them, you will have lost them with regrets! There cannot be a worse way to lose someone! After reading this, pick up the phone and make arrangments to spend time with someone you love.


Dedicated To
A.L. Tipton
1923-2008

You will be gratly missed!